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What to do when you feel depressed: Immediate steps and long-term support - Cover Image

What to do when you feel depressed: Immediate steps and long-term support

Ariel Constantinof
by Ariel Constantinof
Founder of MatchyMatch UK

When you feel depressed, the most effective immediate steps are reaching out to a trusted contact, maintaining basic hygiene, scheduling a GP appointment, and completing a depression screening to help professionals understand the severity of your symptoms.

It is incredibly common to feel completely overwhelmed by the thought of asking for help. The sheer weight of low mood can make even getting out of bed feel like a monumental task. If you are wondering what to do when you feel depressed, know that you do not have to fix everything in a single day. Recovery is a gradual process built on small, manageable actions. Seeking support is not a sign of weakness, but a vital first step towards regaining your quality of life.

This comprehensive guide will walk you through exactly what to do when you feel depressed. We will cover immediate coping strategies to help you get through the day, ways to assess your symptoms, and how to navigate both NHS and private therapy options in the UK. By understanding your options, you can take control of your mental health at a pace that feels right for you.

Immediate steps to take when you feel depressed

When you are in the depths of a depressive episode, looking too far into the future can cause intense anxiety. The focus should be on getting through the current day. Many people do not know what to do when you feel depressed because the lack of energy makes standard advice feel impossible to follow. The key is to lower your expectations and focus on basic human needs.

Try breaking your day into tiny, achievable segments. If taking a shower feels like too much work, simply washing your face is a valid alternative. If cooking a meal is overwhelming, eating a simple piece of fruit or some plain toast is enough. The goal is self-compassion, not perfection.

Here are several immediate, low-energy steps you can take today to protect your wellbeing:

  • Drink a large glass of water. Dehydration can worsen fatigue and brain fog, making depressive symptoms feel even heavier.
  • Spend just 10 minutes outside. Taking just 10 minutes outside for natural light exposure can help regulate your circadian rhythm and subtly improve your mood.
  • Change your clothes. Even if you only move from your night pyjamas to day loungewear, this simple act signals a transition in your day.
  • Reach out to one person. Send a short text message to a friend or family member simply saying that you are struggling today. You do not have to explain everything.
  • Rest without guilt. If your body demands sleep, allow yourself to rest without spiralling into self-criticism.

These actions will not cure depression, but they create a safer physical and emotional baseline. Once you have managed these basic tasks, you can slowly begin to look at professional support.

Understanding and assessing your symptoms

Depression manifests differently in everyone. While some people experience persistent sadness and frequent crying, others may feel entirely hollow, irritable, or physically exhausted. Recognising that these diverse experiences all fall under the umbrella of depression is crucial for finding the right help.

Physical symptoms are often overlooked. You might experience a heavy sensation in your limbs, changes in your appetite, or unexplained aches and pains. Sleep disturbances are also incredibly common. You may find yourself waking up very early in the morning and being unable to get back to sleep, or conversely, sleeping for twelve hours a day and still feeling unrefreshed.

To get a clearer picture of your mental state, using a validated clinical tool is highly recommended. The Patient Health Questionnaire is the standard tool used by healthcare professionals worldwide. You can take our PHQ-9 depression test online to assess the severity of your symptoms. This short questionnaire asks about your experiences over the last two weeks, providing a score that indicates whether your depression is mild, moderate, or severe.

Having this score can be incredibly helpful when you speak to a doctor or therapist. It gives them a concrete starting point and helps validate your experience. Remember that you do not need to score in the severe category to deserve help. Any level of persistent low mood warrants professional support.

If you live in the UK, your first port of call when you feel depressed is often your GP. Booking an appointment might feel daunting, but doctors are highly trained in managing mental health conditions. Recent statistics show that 1 in 6 adults in the UK experience a common mental health disorder like depression in any given week, meaning your GP sees these symptoms on a daily basis.

When you speak to your GP, be as honest as possible about how your mood is affecting your daily life. Mention if your work, relationships, or ability to care for yourself are suffering. The doctor will likely ask some standard questions, similar to the PHQ-9, to gauge your risk level and determine the best course of action.

Your GP can refer you to NHS Talking Therapies, or you can often self-refer online without needing a doctor's permission. NHS Talking Therapies aim to treat 1.9 million people annually, providing evidence-based psychological interventions free of charge. The wait times can vary significantly depending on your local trust, sometimes taking a few weeks to several months.

The initial treatment offered through the NHS is typically a low-intensity intervention. This might include guided self-help, computerised therapy programmes, or a psychoeducational group. If your symptoms are more severe, or if low-intensity treatments do not help, you may be stepped up to high-intensity face-to-face therapy.

Exploring private therapy options

Because NHS waiting lists can be long, many people choose to explore private therapy. Private treatment offers you the flexibility to choose your own therapist, decide on the type of therapy you want, and start your sessions much quicker, often within a week.

The cost of private care is an important factor to consider. A typical private therapy session in the UK costs between 50 GBP and 120 GBP, depending on the practitioner's experience and location. Some therapists offer sliding scale fees based on your income, making it slightly more accessible for those on a tight budget. If you are unsure where to start, our platform can help you find a therapist who perfectly matches your needs and budget.

When choosing a private therapist, it is vital to check their credentials. You should look for professionals registered with a recognised governing body. The BACP (British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy) and the UKCP (UK Council for Psychotherapy) are the primary regulators for psychotherapists in the UK, alongside the HCPC for practitioner psychologists.

Finding a therapist you actually connect with is just as important as their qualifications. Do not be afraid to have initial consultations with two or three different practitioners before making a decision. The therapeutic relationship is the foundation of recovery, so you need to feel safe, heard, and understood by the person sitting opposite you.

Evidence-based therapies for depression

When looking into what to do when you feel depressed, you will encounter several different types of psychological therapy. The National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) recommends specific interventions based on their clinical effectiveness.

Standard courses of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy usually last between 6 and 20 sessions, making it a structured and time-limited option. However, CBT is not the only path to recovery. Depending on the root cause of your depression, other modalities might be more suitable.

Here are the most common evidence-based therapies used to treat depression:

  • Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). This approach helps you identify and challenge negative thought patterns and behaviours that maintain your depression. It is highly practical and focuses on the present moment.
  • Interpersonal Therapy (IPT). IPT focuses on how your relationships and interactions with others impact your mood. It is particularly effective if your depression was triggered by a conflict, a bereavement, or a major life transition.
  • Behavioural Activation. Often used alongside CBT, this therapy specifically targets the avoidance behaviours common in depression. It helps you gradually reintroduce positive, meaningful activities into your routine to boost your mood.
  • Psychodynamic Therapy. If your depression is rooted in unresolved childhood trauma or deep-seated unconscious conflicts, psychodynamic therapy explores your past to help you understand your current emotional state.
  • Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). ACT encourages you to stop fighting your negative emotions and instead focus on taking action towards your core values, even when you feel depressed.

Discuss these options with your prospective therapist to see which approach aligns best with your personality and your specific symptoms. There is no single correct way to heal, and a good therapist will tailor their approach to your unique situation.

Lifestyle adjustments to support recovery

While therapy and medication are the cornerstones of treating depression, lifestyle factors play a massive role in regulating your mood. When you are feeling depressed, your routine often falls apart. Rebuilding it slowly can create a strong foundation for your mental health.

Sleep is arguably the most critical factor. Depression and insomnia frequently trap people in a vicious cycle. Try to wake up at the exact same time every day, regardless of how badly you slept the night before. This anchors your internal body clock. Avoid staring at screens late at night, as the blue light interferes with melatonin production.

Nutrition also directly impacts your brain chemistry. When energy is low, it is tempting to rely on highly processed, sugary foods. However, these cause rapid spikes and crashes in blood sugar, worsening feelings of fatigue and anxiety. Try to incorporate complex carbohydrates, lean proteins, and plenty of vegetables into your meals. Batch-cooking on days when you have slightly more energy can save you when your mood drops.

Finally, movement is a powerful antidepressant, though it is often the hardest thing to start. You do not need to join a gym or run a marathon. Gentle stretching in your living room or a slow walk around the block is entirely sufficient. Movement releases endorphins and helps metabolise stress hormones, giving your brain a much-needed chemical reset.

Coping with emotional numbness

One of the most distressing and least discussed symptoms of depression is emotional numbness. Many people expect depression to feel like profound sadness, but instead, they feel absolutely nothing at all. The world appears grey, and things that used to bring joy now feel completely meaningless.

This numbness is often a psychological defence mechanism. When the brain is overwhelmed by chronic stress or emotional pain, it simply shuts down to protect itself. While this protects you from acute distress, it also blocks out joy, love, and connection. If you are struggling with this specific symptom, reading about why you feel empty and alone: understanding emotional numbness and how to heal can provide valuable insights.

To combat emotional numbness, therapists often recommend grounding techniques. These exercises force your brain to reconnect with your physical senses. For example, holding an ice cube, smelling a strong essential oil, or focusing deeply on the texture of a blanket can bring your awareness back to the present moment.

It is important to remember that emotional numbness is temporary. As you work through the underlying causes of your depression in therapy and begin to safely process your feelings, your emotional spectrum will gradually return. Patience with yourself during this phase is vital.

How depression impacts your relationships

Depression does not just affect the person suffering from it; it ripples out to affect their family, friends, and romantic partners. When you feel depressed, you might subconsciously isolate yourself, snap at the people you love, or feel intensely guilty for being a burden. This guilt often drives you further into isolation.

Communication is the only way to break this cycle. You do not need to have long, exhausting conversations about your mental state, but providing basic context can prevent misunderstandings. Telling a partner, "My mood is very low today, and I am finding it hard to engage, but it is not your fault," can save hours of unnecessary tension.

If you are a parent, the guilt of feeling depressed can be overwhelming. You might worry that your mental health is damaging your children. However, seeking help models healthy emotional regulation for your kids. Furthermore, parental stress is deeply linked to adolescent mental health. If you are noticing changes in your child's behaviour while you are struggling, you might want to learn more about how to spot the signs of depression in teenagers to ensure your whole family is supported.

Couples therapy or family therapy can also be incredibly beneficial. A trained professional can help your loved ones understand your condition better and teach them how to offer support without enabling avoidance behaviours or burning themselves out.

Long-term strategies for preventing relapse

As you begin to recover and figure out what to do when you feel depressed, your focus will naturally shift towards maintaining your progress. Depression can be a recurring condition, but having a solid relapse prevention plan significantly reduces the frequency and severity of future episodes.

A relapse prevention plan involves identifying your unique early warning signs. These are the subtle changes in your behaviour or thoughts that happen before a full depressive episode hits. For some, it is skipping meals; for others, it is a sudden lack of interest in responding to text messages or an increase in cynical thoughts.

Once you know your triggers and early warning signs, you can outline concrete steps to take as soon as you notice them. This might involve immediately booking a top-up session with your therapist, recommitting to your sleep schedule, or temporarily reducing your workload. Catching the symptoms early makes them much easier to manage.

Remember that healing is rarely linear. Having a bad day, or even a bad week, does not mean you have lost all your progress. It simply means you are human. Keep your support network close, continue practising self-compassion, and never hesitate to reach back out for professional help if you need it.

If you are ready to take the next step in your recovery journey, we are here to help. You can easily find a therapist through our matching platform, or reach out via our contact page if you have any questions about starting the process. You do not have to carry this burden alone.

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